Sunday, November 22, 2009

Pride and Joy
















If there was one thing in my life which I consider my pride and joy, it will definitely be my flying career. A childhood dream came true, the hardwork and effort as well as the fighting spirit throughout these years did not go in vain. Little did I know that my job is highly "sought after" until I noticed the eye full of admiration staring at me every time I walk in and out the aircraft and airport. Some people glance, some stare, and some fix their eye on me with a smile. Of course, I give them back a quick look with a smile as well. There was one time the aircraft forward lavatory was not working properly and I had no choice but to use the rear lavatory. As I walked down the aisle, all eye was on me and that kind of feeling was like, WOW! On few occasions, after the aircraft had come to complete stop and all passengers disembarked, few would remain in the cabin and asked permission to enter the cockpit just to take a quick look. When they did so, they were overwhelmed with excitement and curiosity. Some managed to snap few pics before leaving, subject to captain's approval. Some shook my hand to express their gratitude for a safe flight and smooth journey. A small little gesture it seems, but the end result could be so much different as it helps to light up one's day and thus ease some pressures.










But life is always tough my friend. What you see today is not the whole picture. People only notice the glorious and successful part of my life, but very few will take note on the bad experience and failure I had in the past. For me, everyday is a challenge, every flight is a challenge, because I need to ensure that I perform to the required level, any lack in performance is unacceptable. From time to time, I need to remain vigilant, even if it's just a short flight. At times, when shit hit the fence and you were really having a "bad hair day", you just counldn't help making a lot of mistakes in flight. You couldn't imagine what you did, you felt like, "oh crap, what was I doing, what's happening, what's wrong with me today." Then you started to feel stupid and to lesser extent, giving up. Every time when such thought crossed my mind, I felt like defeated and shattered. But then I could never forget the conversation between the father and the son in a Japanese series movie. The father, an old fisherman, told his son who is a pilot and had a car crash and thus broke his leg that "I sailed in the sea for years and I encountered countless storm. But I never give up no matter how violent the storm is, I fight with the storm and I come back home safe and sound every time. How much more are you, a bird which soars in the sky, shouldn't you be tough and courageous as well? Why are you giving up so easily when it's just a small storm of life attacking you"? Eventually, the son stood up, once again, forsaking his past and threw his clutches away. Before long, his flying career restored and he moved on.










I have so much to tell you about the hardship of becoming a pilot. But that's not what I intended to talk right now, and I believe every career field has its own hardship as well. Putting hardship aside, there were also moments which I cherish in flying. From the time you walked in to the airport terminal, some lost passengers asked for direction as they were late, some asked about how to get a taxi, all sort of people. When you're doing a long flight, 3-4 hours across the ocean and above the clouds, you feel like you are so close to mother earth, you touch the sky, you soak in rain and cloud, or mist at times. The blue sky, seems to have soothing effect, and the deep blue ocean, they seem to calm my troubled soul down. Sometimes, when you're going eastward, you're running ahead of the sun, and it shines on you and almost blind your eye. At dawn, you can see the dark earth slowly being lit up by light. Sometimes, when you're going westward, at dusk especially, you're chasing the sun, but you can never overtake her, she moves swiftly and soon you will see lots of afterglow and the sky turns orange, with some blues also visible, kinda like two colours exist in one time. And then, the night engulfs, and at once the whole earth is in total darkness.










For many, flying was regarded as luxurious and glamorous in those days. But things have certainly changed a lot in the last decade. With the introduction of low cost carrier, flying is no longer a dream too far to achieve. But still, a lot of people still haven't been on airplane before. Some of us only travel once in a year, it's like a rare opportunity, something that will only happen when the moon is blue. Quite the contrary to many people, I fly almost everyday, and for this sake, I'm thankful for what God has placed in my life, and yes, I will persevere on, no matter how steep is the road ahead!










Tuesday, November 17, 2009

渐渐反感

我不晓得为设么我对你有种莫名的反感,路遥知马力,日久见人心,一点也没错,相识越久就发现越多的缺点。起初还以为可以包容一切,以为那些只不过是小事而已。但事情并不是想象中那么简单,日子久了就不知不觉中产生了反感,因为一路所累积的不满已经不能储存了,我再也无法忍耐下去了。告诉你,我好像在扮演一个不是自己的角色,有时我发现我在演独角戏,觉得自己不是真实的自己,我好累阿,真得够了。。。。。。。。。。。。我不想在这样下去了,只不过是浪费时间浪费青春而已。。。。。。。。。。。

Sunday, November 15, 2009

倦鸟归巢






我是真的累了,我再也没有力气走下去了。一个人的生活原来是那末寂寞,那末疲倦。我以为自己很坚强而不必靠别人,但后来才发现我真的很渺小,我真正需要的是一颗关怀我的心,一双能为我分担责任与压力的手,而最重要是能够陪我一起走过人生的喜怒哀乐。在外头流浪奔波的日子已经够了,我想我这只倦鸟是时候回巢了。



一个偶然的机会把我带回家乡,起初还很担心会不习惯,可是短短的几天,虽然是平凡的日子,但却叫人流连忘返,回味无穷。母亲的细心照顾让我从此不想再踏出家门,每一个细节都为我打理得井井有条,可说是照顾周到。以前和父亲的关系并不好,但现在的他似乎变了,即使是那区区百分之一的改变也算是一个突破。小弟们的天真无邪,他们的欢笑声至今还在我耳边荡漾。



其实,在我的生命当中母亲是我最敬佩的人。她总是默默的关心,无时无刻,不管心情好或不好,不管是刮风还是下雨。在我人生的低潮期,是母亲的鼓励与支持才让我走出生命的阴霾。我一直都很渴望能够报答父母的恩惠,但是,很多时候我都没有这个能力,钱财方面或是其他方面都好。悄悄告诉你,其实阿,我觉得自己很没用因为到了这个年纪还要他们照顾。但我相信在不久的将来我一定能够为他们做些东西。



还记得在机场的那一幕,我的心情是多么沉重。眼睛虽然没泪水,我想内心是在哭泣,百感交集。我们都清楚知道会有离别的一天,自不过这一去不知何时才返回,或许几个月后,或是半年后。家里面也肯定少了吵杂声,一切又回到原先的平静。来时匆匆,去也匆匆。



我问我自己几时才可以回去长居。我想在短期内是不会有答案,前途茫茫,不知何去何从,只能够说一句,无可奈何!前方还有漫漫长路,我希望我可以早日回家,因为我真的累了!














Sunday, November 1, 2009

藕断丝连??!!

是突然想你又还是我真放不下?

见到你的那一刻我真得很开心,

时间虽然短暂但是却印象深刻,

离别时候还真的有点依依不舍,

你告诉我说一定要好好对待她,

当你的倩影离去时我几乎哭了,

我怎么啦难道这就是藕断丝连?