Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Happy Birthday to Myself


Me and Joleen's main course, shrimp n chick pasta.

Appetizer, boneless wings.
John's main course, steak burger.
Charlotte's main course, Fish n Chips.

For some people, birthday is the most important day throughout the year. But there are also a minority of people who think otherwise. And yes, I belong the to latter category. As for me it's just another ordinary day in my life. You may be asking why, why would I have such thought? Well, I would say it's due to my family background. My parents rarely celebrate my birthday. For them, it's a "secondary" thing to do in their priority list. My mum told me that there's no need to throw a party on my birthday. She said it's simply a waste of time and money. Instead, she would rather me focus and do well in my studies and reward me with something else. That's why, I never receive any gift on my birthday. I didn't really understand why me and my brothers were trained and raised in such way. But in recent years, after my graduation, I started to understand the reason behind it. The reason is simple, it's the "priority" in life. I learnt that mum was trying to tell us "studies" and "career" are the most important thing throughout our life. She once said, once you have the ability to earn big bucks, you can do whatever you want and buy whatever you want, wouldn't that be sweet, as if everyday's your birthday? I know some of us may not agree with her way of teaching because it's kinda "unreasonable" and "old-fashioned". But it doesn't matter, because she has succeeded and her children did capture her good intention, though our childhood was a bit miserable as compare to other people.

Few days ago, it was my 24th birthday. I wasn't expecting any sort of surprise and as usual, I wasn't particularly excited about it. Instead of waiting for other people to surprise me with gifts and cakes, I was actually thinking, "how about throwing a party and invite all my friends to join and have fun"? But the plan failed in the end due to last minute call up by my company to fly for another two days, which one of the two flying days happened to be my birthday. So I was left with no choice and I spent my birthday in the air flying the aircraft. I didn't tell the cabin crew about it, nor did I tell my captain it's my birthday, or else, they'd have sung a birthday song to me. I let my birthday pass unrecognized, and I was telling myself even though there's no official party or wishes from others, it's indeed an amazing and extraordinary birthday. Why? Because sitting in the cockpit flying the aircraft has been my dream since I was young. And no one, including myself, could have imagined that after 24 years, that little Jameson who once had a big dream in his childhood days, is flying the real aircraft bringing passenger from all walks of life to their destination. Wouldn't this the biggest gift in my life, having to see the dream has finally come true, and amazingly, it happened exactly on my birthday! Of course, for some people, it's a pity that I need to work on my birthday. I was having the exact same thought initially. But hey, think carefully, it's indeed a birthday present from God who has enabled my dream of flying to come true and it also bears testament to my mum's hardwork and teaching
Tonight, the 29th of September, after three days from my birthday, was a night of celebration for my 24th birthday. It was a simple celebration, no cake, but then I was happy because it's a night worth remembering because I was accompanied by the people who care for me. Special thanks to Charlotte for celebrating with me even though you weren't feeling well. And not to forget Joleen and John, our special guest for the night and their presence was truly the icing on the cake. It was my pleasure to have you all attended the dinner. Thanks guys, cheers.............

Monday, September 28, 2009

What Goes Up Must Come Down


Little did I know that things have started to fall apart. Everything seemed ok at first with no major issue and I thought I was doing the right thing.


How wrong was I!


Everything is not ok, and now only I realise the seriousness of the matter. But it's far too late to rectify the problem, it should have been detected earlier and carry out necessary adjustment. I thought the ride would be smoother and less bumpy this time given the fact that I've been through the same process some years ago. It was like going uphill and soaring high at first and the result was great. Then all of sudden, lightning came and struck me down and I was like from "highest high to lowest low". The feeling of sadness and discouragement overwhelmed me and I was completely demoralized. Oh dear God, I would rather you put me through this in the beginning of it, not towards the end of it where things become more complicated and out of hand.


When will I learn the lesson? How many times does it need to be repeated, "not to make the same mistake again"? Why am I such a failure? James oh James, come on, do it right this time and avoid getting there again, will you? Go and don't let me fail, expand your inner potential and get things back on track.....................................................................................................................

Monday, September 14, 2009

千言萬語





我有說不完的話要對你訴說,見到你的那一刻我突然覺得感觸良多。我有千言萬語要告訴你,可惜我們沒有太多的時間。


我曾經是海上漂流的船只,經歷了不少的驚濤駭浪,眼前的風浪擋著了前方的道路。經過漫漫長夜,多少個失眠的夜晚,對于自己的前途我感到心灰意冷。旁人的熱笑冷諷讓我感到一股很大的挫敗感。有些人你以為可以靠得住,但很可惜他給不到你要的,到頭來他反而傷害了你。我還以為他會陪我走過這一段坎坷的日子,但是沒想到他竟然中途放棄,于是我只好孤軍奮戰。這樣的遭遇讓我從此不再信任他了,因為它讓我徹底的失望。


我走過人生的起起落落,我走過高山底谷,甚至是在曠野的日子確實叫人無可奈何。2008年是我人生中的低潮。我感到生活沒有意義,我過著自憐自艾的日子。我很盼望有人會了解我的遭遇, 但即使他是你最信賴最要好的朋友也不會了解你。我眺望著遙遠的天際,那一片曾經屬于自己的天空。我感到遺憾因為我或許沒這個機會在空中翱翔了。


就在一些不愉快的事情發生之后,守護天使來了!她并沒有責怪我,反而鼓勵我前進。她告訴我千萬不可放棄一定要堅持到底。瞬息間我感動得說不出話來,因為這些日子以來沒有人對我說過這樣的一番話。她挑戰我踏出信心的第一步勇敢地面對前面的波折。


今天我們相約在咖啡廳會面,相隔了幾乎一年,從沒有到有,她與我都見證了神的信實。對于我的成就她感到無比的驕傲與高興。我不會忘記她告訴我的每一樣東西,她的勸勉與教誨我會一輩子牢牢記住。會話的當兒我幾乎忍不住淚水,我看見她的眼里也泛了一些喜悅的淚光。我感謝神的安排,雖然我似乎浪費了很多歲月,但是神告訴我說在他的計劃中沒有什么是太遲的,因為他掌管大局。我很高興因為我又再次展翅高飛了,而且這一次我要飛得更高更遠。雖然有亂流也有風雨的阻礙,但卻不能阻止我前進,因為在天空飛翔的鳥兒是不會退縮的!


誰也沒想到一年后會我們會坐在一起敍述大家的經歷,一點一滴,一切又一切的發生都那么扣人心弦,仿佛是神美好的安排。


千言萬語,只想告訴你我對你感激萬分。。。。。。。。